8 Tips for How to Trust Yourself Deeply
“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”
― Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
A few months ago, I read a book that really rocked my world called, “Playing Big” by Tara Mohr. In the book, Mohr talks about the various ways women inhibit their own potential by doubting oneself, thinking they need more education, not speaking up, just to name a few. Mohr dedicates an entire chapter to the “Inner Mentor.” She provides a meditation that introduces to this inner mentor that I fell so madly in love with, I even journal my thoughts to her daily! She answers my questions and gives me encouragement and is accessible 24/7. I LOVE having an inner mentor!
We all have access to this part of ourselves that helps to develop the muscle of trusting the guiding voice within. The inner mentor is one tool that can help us to find our voice, stand in our power, and trust that we can reach our goals, even (especially!) when we make mistakes.
The following are 8 ways to develop a deeper level of self-trust:
1. Get STILL. Learn to be with yourself without noise and distractions. Sit quietly and just focus on your breath. If this is totally new, I’ve got posts here and here to help guide you into a meditation practice.
2. Honor your emotions. You know how sometimes you find yourself crying but don’t know why? Emotions need to be expressed. They need to be felt. They have powerful information to give us about what is going on, but we can’t learn from them if we ignore them. When you get still, get in touch with your emotions, and ask them what they’re trying to tell you.
3. Stop going outside yourself for the answers. It can be a habit and very tempting to go to an “expert” to find the answer to your questions and dilemmas, but we put too much stock in what others tell us. As you ask and listen to your own answers, self-trust will develop.
4. Develop mindfulness. What does mindfulness mean? Click here. Briefly, it means doing one thing at a time, with your full attention, without judgment. Drop multi-tasking. Drop the worship of “such a busy schedule.” When you shower, be fully present with all 5 senses. When you walk the dog, be fully present with all 5 senses. Every meal, every conversation, every project, you get the idea. Be. Present.
5. Ask yourself deep questions. And put those questions on repeat. With this practice, I find a journal helpful. If you repeatedly ask yourself, “What do I really want?” and then journal the answers over and over, common themes will emerge. Within those themes lies your answers, and a greater sense of knowing, and trusting who you know.
6. Walk by faith and not by sight. Thank you, 2 Corinthians. Here the trust comes from knowing you are not alone. You are guided and supported. Live in the faith that you know that God and the universe wants to see you thrive. Trust in that.
7. Treat yourself like you treat your best friends. Self-compassion is one of the key factors for positive change. Notice, do you speak to yourself like someone you love? It is impossible to trust someone who you don’t like or love. Developing that kindness and love for yourself encourages trust.
8. Build the self-trust muscle. Practice. Practice following the guidance that bubbles up from within. When you listen to your heart, rather than your thoughts, you develop the practice of intuition. Listening with heart-centered awareness is key in self-trust.
You’ve got this! Listen and honor the wisdom that lives inside of you. You are not alone. Slow down and enjoy each moment, each bite, each interaction. Get still with that lovely person who lives inside your organ-carrier, and know, I can and do trust her with my life.
