Wholehearted Living
Sisters, white Oprah is talking and that means listen up. I must preface the post with this nugget: This work is a never-ending process. You can work hard to get to the point where, deep in your core, you have learned to care significantly less what people think about you, and then six months later pick up that habit again as if you’d never done the work to stop. Growing into this version of a wholehearted-living human, who is letting go of what does not serve us, while cultivating the traits that lead us to deeper fulfillment, is a lifetime process. Even Brené admits to backsliding on many of per perfectionist qualities in lieu of self compassion.
Brené is helping us to evaluate where there is opportunity for growth within ten guideposts, in conjunction with a podcast and webinar series to integrate the work into our lives. Well, thank you so much, BB!
I read The Gift of Imperfection years ago, so I had to go a revisit the material for a refresher, and it continues to pack a powerful punch to this wannabe former perfectionist!
Courage, compassion and connection are the gifts of imperfection. Vulnerability around shame and your own imperfections cultivates that connection we crave, but it takes massive courage! Brené says, “Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment.” How can we be brave enough to cultivate this life of vulnerability, authenticity, creativity and calm, while releasing comparison, perfectionism, anxiety and self doubt? I’m hopeful for the journey that leads the way.
The 10 guideposts to wholehearted living include:
Letting go of what people think
Letting go of perfectionism
Letting go of numbing and powerlessness
Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark
Letting go of the need for certainty
Letting go of comparison
Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
Letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle
Letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to”
Letting go of being cool and “always in control”
To feel fully alive, we must step toward the fear and shame. We can’t let self doubt keep us from sharing our gifts with the world. It’s hard work to shift our thoughts. That deep, internalized knowing of “I am enough no matter what happens today” is the better thought than, “Wow, Dodi. Another mistake in your newsletter- people are going to think you’re stupid!” I am enough. This is worth repeating until it becomes a part of my beliefs.
Brené also shares how to “DIG” deep, especially when you’re tired and stressed by being:
Deliberate – Be intentional in what you think and do.
Inspired – Get yourself in the right emotional and mental place to feel like yourself.
Going – Take action, whether that’s to rest or work harder—just do it.
To jump in on Brené’s journey to wholehearted living, you’ll want to take the inventory, and maybe dust off or download The Gift of Imperfection book before you start the podcast series.
You can start here with the wholehearted inventory.
She offers a series of 6 podcasts where she (the older sister) and her two younger twin sisters talk through the material together. She has set it up so you can do this work with a group, like a book club, via zoom, with your partner or your family.
Let’s own our story, warts and all. It takes guts, but people will be refreshed by your vulnerability.
Find ways to act that are true to YOU, not what you think others want or expect from you.
Embrace your imperfections and flaws and let perfection go. It doesn’t exist.
Open your heart. Practice loving yourself.
Give your HEART and your own happiness as much attention as you would your career or your children.
We have the opportunity to transform our lives by reaching for wholehearted living.
Let’s do it.
