How to Relax…
…when the world feels awfully tense.
Bad news bears: We have just scraped the surface of the psychological toll that THE YEAR 2020 will take on us individually and collectively. The good news, you can actively work to heal this toll by considering your current relaxation time, and DOUBLE DOWN. (If your relaxation time is zero, let’s figure out how to get you started.)
If you are unsure what makes you feel relaxed, take some time to ask yourself. What makes you feel at ease? What makes you feel less stress? What makes you feel grounded and stable? Then make a list as a starting point to reference for increasing this time.
Once you know what relaxes you, consider these 10 tips to maximize your psychological and physical healing:
Add in meditation. If you’re even considering meditation, simply start. The research doesn’t lie: meditation is shown to have copious benefits on mental, emotional and physical health. Find a quiet spot, sit up tall, maybe close your eyes if it feels comfortable, and focus on your breath. Your mind will wander, just keep bringing it back to your breath.
Be present. How? I’m right here, you say! Consider intentionally using all five senses for many of your daily activities. When you brush your teeth, smell the toothpaste, watch the process, feel it in your mouth, hear the sound, taste the flavor. In the shower, slow down and focus on the feeling of the water, the smell of the soap, the sounds, etc. Repeat the same process with walking the dog or washing a dish. Be present. See what you notice.
Try some deep breathing. There are also numerous benefits of breathing deeply into your lungs. One benefit is the calming effect deep breathing has on your nervous system. On practice I love it 4-7-8 breathing. I do this before bed, but it is effective any time of day. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, exhale (like you are breathing through a straw) for a count of 8. Repeat for a minute or 2. Try it now!
Consider your relaxation frequency. Research shows, taking smaller short breaks of relaxation throughout the week is more beneficial than a big weekend-long relaxation binge. Try putting a reminder in your phone to stop every 2-3 hours to take a breath, do a body scan, walk outside, or any other way of connecting with your body.
Do a Body Scan. I LOVE a body scan. Simply start at the top of your head (or bottom of your feet) and work your way down your body. Try to notice every little sensation you can feel, from your scalp, to your shoulders, front and backs of arms and leg, joints, front and back of upper and lower torso, front and back of hands… everything you notice, go slow. Feel your skin and muscles, being hyper-aware of every sensation. It’s an incredibly relaxing exercise.
Reach out. You know the person in your life who says just the right thing, has words of wisdom on the tip of her tongue, and makes you feel like everything is going to be ok? Shoot her a text or an email to set up a time to talk on the phone or go for a walk together. You know you will feel better when you do.
Get alone. Parents, can I get an AMEN?! Sometimes we may have the best intentions to relax, but home is not always the easiest place to practice a relaxation technique with littles bee-bopping around. Is there a time when your house is empty? Is there a place you can go to be alone, centered and focused on you? Carve out this time and place to get relaxed and make it happen.
Establish rituals. The best way to make relaxing a part of your life and a habit, is by establishing a ritual with it and around it. On Tuesdays & Thursdays at 2pm, when the kids are away and the house is quiet, I will turn off distractions and do the following relaxation technique(s). Keep this ritual sacred and repetitive. The benefits will follow.
Manage your self-talk. Have you ever taken notes around the thoughts you repeatedly say to yourself? Do you speak to yourself with kind words, like you would a friend? Or do you critique yourself when you make a misstep? Focus on what you are saying to yourself, and if you catch yourself speaking negatively to yourself, STOP. Say 3 kind things to yourself immediately. As you repeat this process, eventually the positive talk will overcome, if you continue to practice it!
Remind yourself that relaxing is not just for you. Relaxing is not just for you. You will become easier to be around. Your more relaxed energy will be felt by everyone around you. Your reaction to setbacks or negative events will be less harsh. You will become slower to anger. You will generally be an easier person to be with. And isn’t this what we all want?
Engaging with new behaviors takes both time and repetition. Give yourself some grace, find some time for you, and start whenever and wherever it feels right. You’ve got this. Get relaxed, and enjoy more chilled out version of you.
