Why You Should Find Time to be Alone

There was this old SNL skit where Jan Hooks played Greta Garbo, an actress in the 1920’s, who was known for her desire to be…. a l o n e. Someone brought her in a flower bouquet delivery, and she said, “Take it apart. Put each flower in a single vase. So, they can… each… be… a l o o o n e…”

Guess you had to see it!?

Anywho! Great news: My husband is awesome and when I told him I needed to go check out some resorts in Scottsdale for my next wellness retreat, he said, “See you later!” And then when I told him I needed to stay a few extra days to be a l o n e, he said, “See you later!” I know. I’m one lucky lady.

I was nervous about going by myself for 5 days, an extrovert’s kryptonite, and I’ve never sought out multiple days alone, but I knew in my bones I needed it. I just didn’t know how much until I was there. First, I made a promise to myself and my therapist and BethKelly not to fill my time with podcasts and books and workouts and Netflix. Second, I didn’t rent a car, so I either rode my host’s bike early before it reached 105 degrees, and I limited myself to one Lyft per day. I spent Many. Hours. Alone. With Cacti. 

Guess what happened? It was magical. I had no idea my friend’s home was such a respite for the time I desired. She has walking trails looped all throughout her property, and every type of cactus you can imagine. (The “Old Man Cactus” was my favorite. I talked his hearing aid off.) They labeled them during the pandemic so now I’m an unofficial cactus expert. I went inside myself, thought about my desires, practiced letting go of some things I’d been clinging to, meditated, did some yoga, read a little, wrote out my thoughts, and I enjoyed my own company. I feel like a new Dodi! 

If you need help in figuring out a way to sell your mate on your own alone time getaway, Forbes, Psychology Today, and Tiny Buddah all list numerous health benefits to spending some time all by your lonesome, little dove.

Here are TEN reasons you should fly solo for a bit:

1.     Alone time increases empathy.

2.     Alone time increases productivity.

3.     Alone time allows you to reboot your brain and unwind.

4.     Alone time improves concentration.

5.     Alone time sparks creativity.

6.     Alone time builds mental strength, ie. Life satisfaction & stress management.

7.     Alone time gives you planning time.

8.     Alone time gives you space for deep thinking.

9.     Alone time can enhance the quality of your relationships.

10.  Alone time helps you know and understand who you are and your dreams & desires.

I know not everyone lives with someone who says, “Get out of here, I’ve got the kids!” like I do. And some of us have jobs that only allow enough off time for family vacations. So here are just a few tips for getting in alone time in small segments if you can’t go walk with the old man cacti:

·      Disconnect by turning off your phone, laptop (notifications/email), TV, WiFi or anything that distracts you.

·      Get up a half hour or more before anyone else in your house. (Personal favorite)

·      Close your door and put a “do not disturb” sign on it.

·      Use lunch breaks to spend time alone, preferably outside if you work indoors.

·      Schedule the solitude time in your calendar.

All of these options can be done in half an hour or less each day. You just need to carve out space so you can meditate, pray, focus, relax, reboot, create, produce, and/or think deeply. Alone time is important. You’ll be a better person when you give yourself time to enjoy the fabulous human you are!